Tearful Goodbye
by Shimmerleaf
Summary: On her way to her brother's funeral, Chelsea remembers all the times they spent together.


**Disclaimer: I do not own the song used in this oneshot. The song **_**Have You Ever**_** is owned by S Club 7. **

Why him, why him out of all people? Why couldn't it have happened to someone else on the island? Those thoughts kept repeating themselves in her head. She couldn't stop them, not since she received the news of her brother's death.

The wind and rain whipped at her face and her hair was drenched. Chelsea clung onto the edge of the boat so tightly her knuckles were white. Kirk would occasionally glance at her to make sure she was okay but she always ignored him.

As the boat battled the fierce and violent waves, Chelsea couldn't help but think of her precious childhood. Memories of her and her brother flashed in her mind. She remembered when they would play in the forest behind their home and be gone for hours. Whenever the sky darkened and she started to cry, it was him that had comforted her. When they had gotten lost, he was the one that held her hand and led her home.

When she was around seven and he was ten, they would help their parents with the farm together, always. He would milk the cows while she brushed them. She would pick up the eggs while he talked to each chicken and duck. Their parents would handle the horses since they wouldn't trust Chelsea and Mark with them. Sometimes their parents would let them ride the horses, with supervision of course. Chelsea always rode Icebreeze, a small white mare and Mark always rode Moonshadow, a light brown gelding.

When they got older they both wanted to start a farm together. Their cousin Jill had a farm in Forget-Me-Not valley and Angela had a farm on Waffle Island. They planned to find a job in the city to raise enough money before buying a farm. They were so close to have their dream become reality.

Like all siblings, they had their quarrels and disagreements. Most were over simple and idiotic things. The first major argument was over Mark's girlfriend at the time. Chelsea hadn't like her much, she thought his girlfriend was using him to make her ex-boyfriend jealous but Mark would always object, starting the argument. They didn't speak to each other for two weeks as a result. In the end, Chelsea was right and the ex-girlfriend dumped Mark when her old boyfriend wanted her back. Mark was upset and it was Chelsea that comforted him.

When Chelsea had her first boyfriend, it was Mark's turn to be suspicious. He thought the boy was up to something bad. Something had to be wrong, the boy was just overly too cheerful. When he got wind of their breakup, Mark went and hunted down the guy. He was shocked to learn that it was Chelsea that broke up with him. He was proud that she dumped a 'weirdo' like him, until he accidentally said this thoughts out loud and received a black eye as payment.

Chelsea remembered each precious memory. They were on automatic replay and the words on the letter she had received echoed in her mind.

"_Chelsea, _

_There was a snowstorm here two days ago. I was visiting Father when it hit. Mark was in the barn, trying to calm the cows. I'm so sorry to have to tell you this in a letter but..."_

The letter paused there and some of the words were hard to read, smudged from tears.

"_Mark got hit hard in the head by the collapsing roof. It was immediate, he didn't suffer any pain. We're holding his funeral next week, please come._

_-Sabrina" _

Almost every word was smudged by tears or the words were hard to read because of a trembling hand. Mark's dead. Mark is gone. Mark isn't here anymore. Chelsea couldn't hear anything except for those words and a ringing sound in her ear.

She remembered the last time they talked- it ended as an argument, and they never made up with each other. She was going to apologize and surprise him on the day of his birthday...but he never made it.

It was winter 20th, a week before the day of this birth. He was so close to becoming 20. Why did he leave so early?

_Sometimes it's wrong to walk away, though you think it's over  
Knowing there's so much more to say  
Suddenly the moment's gone  
And all your dreams are upside down  
And you just want to change the way the world goes round_

It was all planned out. She had finally saved enough money from her own earnings to buy him a jersey cow for his birthday. She had composed a piece of music accompanied with words expressing her feelings. Chelsea planned to sing it for him; he always said she looked the most beautiful when she was singing.

Now words left her mouth along with the trail of tears that flooded her face. The words floated in the air before the wind and rain tore them apart. Kirk looked at her, his eyes full of pity and admiration.

_Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody  
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry  
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby  
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking  
Looking down the road you should be taking  
I should know, cause I loved and lost the day I let you go_

He had said he was going to visit Angela but he never made it. Instead the boat had gotten caught in a thunderstorm. She had cried endlessly for days when there was no news about his survival. She walked around listlessly, like a ghost. All her friends were worried about her and tried to soothe her, but she didn't want their company; she wanted Mark's.

A letter arrived a few weeks later. Mark was alive and he had become the rancher of the island. Chelsea felt joyful for him. She was in the process of buying a farm in the Sunshine Archipelago. Mark told her the island was named Sunny Island- the Island of Happiness. At that time she thought it sounded wonderful.

Now she wondered just what was so wonderful about it. Maybe if Mark was with her on her farm then maybe he wouldn't be dead. Or maybe if Chelsea worked with Mark at his farm then maybe she could've kept him in the house. Maybe if Sabrina hadn't went to visit Regis then she could've forced Mark to stay inside, or if Sabrina had brought Mark with her. __

Can't help but think that this is wrong, we should be together  
Back in your arms where I belong  
Now I've finally realised it was forever that I've found  
I'd give it all to change the way the world goes round

It felt strange for her to be standing there, alone, without anyone beside her. Even though she had been without Mark when he was on the island and she was at home, this felt different. She felt disconnected from everything. The wind and rain pelted her face but she couldn't feel it at all and yet she knew it was happening. She was aware of what was going on but her eyes were clouded, her mouth set in a firm line and no emotion showed through except for the tears streaming down and the lyrics that left her mouth.

Her heart was pounding hard against her chest, her cheeks red from the cold but she didn't care. She felt incomplete without her brother. She longed to see him, to be in his arms and hear him murmur soothing words in her ear like back in the forest behind their house.

Now that her brother was no longer present in this life, her life seems insignificant. Why should she live when he's dead? She would rather be poor and live in the awful streets in the city and have her brother alive. If she could, Chelsea would give away her current life, give away her farm, and give away her lover, just to bring Mark back to life.

But things don't work that way.

_Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody  
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry  
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby  
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking  
Looking down the road you should be taking  
I should know, cause I loved and lost the day I let you go_

All those arguments seemed like a waste of time. The two of them could've been making memories and yet they spent the time arguing, over the most pointless things.

The boat was almost to Sunny Island. Time was fast approaching. It will soon be her final good bye to Mark...

Why didn't she apologize to him beforehand? They had parted on such bad terms. Fresh tears erupted from Chelsea's eyes and a river started flowing. It shouldn't have been like that, she wanted to take back all she had said to him. __

I really want to hear you say that you know just how it feels  
To have it all and let it slip away, can't you see  
Even though the moment's gone, I'm still holding on somehow  
Wishing I could change the way the world goes round

The time had come. Sabrina had decided to bury Mark by the sea. It was where he loved to be, after all. Chelsea stood a little away from the crowd. They were all giving words of condolences to the grieving Sabrina. She would add her own later but now she stared at the coffin that contained the body of her brother.

She walked over and looked, gasping at the wound. A big gash was visible near his forehead and dried blood dirtied his blonde hair. Chelsea ran a trembling hand across his face, shivering as she felt his cold skin. It was unnatural.

Nathan said few words of prayer before placing the coffin in the already prepared hole. Chelsea's mind screamed out but she made no sound. Nothing could help now, unless you could bring back the dead. Alisa placed a tombstone above the burial spot and everyone left after that as words were exchanged and tears were shed.

Sabrina stood frozen, staring at the tombstone. Her cheeks were red from the cold, her hair was a mess and her light lavender dress was dirtied with specks of mud. Sabrina didn't seem to care. "Mark," she breathed out lightly. Chelsea watched as Sabrina started blinking her eyes, trying to blink away the tears.

Chelsea stared at the spot in the ground, where Mark's body lay. Every part of her body was paralyzed except for her eyes. They wandered all over, burning holes everywhere. She didn't move as the wind howled again and a chill ran up her spine.

So what if she got sick? Let her get sick and die! Then she would be reunited with her brother. She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned her head to see the face of her lover. His eyes were emotionless as always and his famous Stetson was tipped back slightly. His hair was a mess and his eyebrows were creased with worry. He said something to her but all she heard was the wind. The sound of laughter filled her ear and she whipped her head around to find the person. Who dares laugh at her brother's funeral?!

Her lover looked at her, shaking his head. You don't understand, she wanted to shout at him. There was no one besides Sabrina, Vaughn and herself at the beach. The laughter played again and once again she looked. Her brain filtered the sound and her head snapped back to the tombstone. It was the sound of Mark's laughter!

Chelsea clutched her head, she was going crazy. She was hearing her dead brother's voice. A wave of uncontrolled grief hit her and the dams in her eyes burst open. Vaughn grabbed her shoulder and forced her to look at him. "Chelsea, snap out of it!" he demanded. Through her tears, she managed a glare but her face was so drained of emotion that instead she looked at him with sadness filled eyes.

"Stop crying, it won't do any good. It is normal to grieve for your brother and it is normal to cry but you are going to drive yourself and the people around you insane. We know you are hurting, Mark was your brother. Stop dwelling in the past."

She shook her head, strands of her hair flying in difference directions. "I-I c-can't, I j-just c-can't," she struggled to reply. Vaughn's eyes softened and he gave her an awkward hug, letting her place her head on his shoulder.

"I can hear his voice everywhere. I can hear him laugh and I can see him. The memories from our childhood keep replaying in my head. I can't stop it. I wish so badly we didn't argue the last time we talked." Something in Chelsea snapped and she poured out everything that had gone on in her mind during the boat trip. Vaughn held her gently, just letting her talk without interrupting.

Sabrina walked up to them and cried even harder. Chelsea and Vaughn together reminded her _so _much of Mark and herself. "C-Chelsea, there's something y-you need to know," she whispered.

"M-Mark forgave you, he was planning to surprise you on your birthday."

Chelsea started crying harder. Tears of relief, grief and sadness all mixed together. She smiled a weary watery smile aimed at the tombstone. "I love you, Mark. I'm happy that you forgive me..."

_Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody  
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry (I'm sorry)  
Can't you see, (ohhh) that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby  
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking  
Looking down the road you should be taking  
I should know, (I should know) cause I loved and lost the day I let  
_

"Just you wait Chelsea, someday we shall have our very own farm. Since you love animals so much, you can take care of the animals and since I'm the one with the green thumb, I'll work the crops. It's going to be great. We'll be rich then buy ourselves a big house and a bigger farm," 16 year old Mark fantasized.

13 year old Chelsea nodded enthusiastically, her two pigtails bobbing up and down. "Great idea, bro but where are we going to get the money? I don't want to work in a restaurant. We should help Mom and Dad around the farm and get _paid_!"

Chelsea laughed lightly at the memory as she brushed the dirt from the tombstone. "Oh Mark, you've always tried to act like a man."

She walked away whistling the tune of the song she sang on the ride to his funeral. A forget-me-not flower lay on his grave. "I love you, always, my big bro."

_Yes I loved and lost the day I let  
Yes I loved and lost the day I let you go_

**A/N: That song is my new addiction and I love it. It just so thought provoking. Well I hoped you like this :D Reviews/Comments are always welcomed!**


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